The post I've been wanting to make!

Isn't that the most beautiful sight you've ever seen? I think so!

DH and I finally got our elusive BFP this week. I took the test so I could quit taking the progesterone supplements (those things are GROSS if you've ever had to take them) and get my AF to start. I had it all planned out - I'd take the test, then call the doctor's office and see if they'd get pre-authorization on the lap for January.

So I took the test, set it aside and checked in about a minute. Totally expected to see one line. And what did I see? THAT beautiful second line. :) In less than the 2 minute window.

So Monday was my first beta - it measures the HCG in my blood. The nurse said she wanted to see a number higher than 50. She called a little later in the day with my result: 353!!!

Today was my second beta. Betas should double every 48-72 hours. The nurse said she was hoping to see a 60% increase in my number - so something in the 600s. My number? 747!!! It doubled in less than 48 hours :)

I think these numbers are high so we may have more than one in there. We find out on Tuesday - our first ultrasound! I'll be a little over 4 and a half weeks. Too soon for a heartbeat but we can count babies. Then we'll have another ultrasound in about 3 weeks to find the heartbeat(s).

I can hardly believe it's finally happened. DH and I are just hopeful that my pregnancy continues without many hiccups or problems.

It is what it is

I've decided that it is what it is. I can't change the hand that IF has dealt DH and I. I can't change the fact that my heart has hardened just a little after 4 years of trying. What can I do? Accept it and move on.

I don't know that this cycle didn't work. I won't know either way until Monday. It seems like our odds are low...but it is what it is. This time of year is hard - how fun would it be to see Christmas through the eyes of my own child? But, if this doesn't work, I just know that there are bigger plans for DH and I. It seems like in my family, we can beat our heads against a brick wall for YEARS and then when the time is right, everything falls into place. We can't change the plans that have been made for us.

DH and I are blessed with the life we have. Looking around, there are people who would give ANYTHING to be where we are - a safe home, new cars, each other, food on the table and in our pantry, and being completely surrounded by the love of our families. This time of year, it is easy to get overwhelmed with everything going on - parties, gifts, functions - but it most important to be thankful for everything we have.

I've come to the realization that everyone always wants something they don't have. In our case, we want a baby. Others may want a shiny new car, that brand new house or the perfect mate. It is what it is.

IUI #5

Well, we had IUI #5 done today at 7:15 a.m. Our nice nurse wasn't working today but at least the mean one was better than normal. I've had a little spotting this evening but no cramping or anything.

I'm, of course, hopeful that it works but not holding my breath. I think I'm a bit too cynical! I do think the timing was perfect as far as my O - I had a lot of pain in my right side today and felt a pop about 20 minutes after my IUI and haven't had pain since. Here's to hoping my old cynical body can get this thing figured out!!

Test day will be the 27th of December. Here's to the next TWW!

CD3 ultrasound

Well, here we go again!

I had my CD3 u/s on Friday. I have a "flat" cyst on my right side but the RE was willing to give it another go, saying that wouldn't interfere with anything. He's happy about the way I respond to the clomid, but is not happy that we haven't had a bfp yet!

His plan, if this cycle doesn't work, is to do a laproscopic "look-see" of my belly. He thinks that there is a chance I might have some underlying issues from my spleen injury when I was 4; he said there could be a bit of scar tissue or something not quite right that is causing things to not work. He said that if there is scar tissue at the end of my tube, I might as well be sending my pretty follies to Mars! :)

So, we're hopeful that this cycle will work...I don't want to think about surgery. Even "minor" surgery...but still involves knocking me out and having incisions. Crossing fingers it works out!!

Next scan is Friday, December 10. Was supposed to be the 11th but that's Shane's graduation; we'll have a houseful of people and lots to do. :)