New cycle!

Today was our CD3 u/s to make sure we were back to baseline. Nurse Kim (my fav!) said everything looked fantastic! Dr. Wilshire said that he was excited about how great things had gone for us last cycle and felt like we should try IUIs 4-5 times before moving on. I started my Clomid again today...through CD8. We got for another u/s a week from Saturday (April 3) to make sure I'm responding as I should. We are so hopeful that this is it!

Looks like costs for meds are about $120 per shot; this includes the Clomid ($9...thanks WalMart!), $50 for the trigger shot and about $60 for the progesterone. I sure do wish that insurance would cover it...but, alas, it's worth it in the end if we get the elusive BFP and ultimate baby. We haven't seen any bills rolling in from Dr. Wilshire's office; we know the insurance more than likely won't cover them but it's worth a shot. Maybe, if the u/s are coded in a certain way, they will.

I'm starting to freak a little about $$. I do this. It's just part of who I am. I like to have a nest egg and it seems like we can't get that far ahead. This house has drained us; we were doing great and then started doing some decorating and it's killing us again. We'll have a loan paid off this summer which will free up quite a bit of money...then we can get the rest paid off (hopefully) and move on. I would LOVE to get to the point we have no debt outside of house and maybe cars.

Here's to hoping that #2 is our lucky number!

Just as I suspected

The test was a blaringly white bfn :( So, now I'm waiting to call the dr on Monday. Shane and I are prepared to do another round of medicated IUI...but we'll see if he's game for that. I know Dr. Wilshire thinks that IVF is a better fit for us, but we aren't there yet. Mentally NOR financially.

So, we are taking it easy today. Shane's still recovering from his cold and I am enjoying a day off. School starts again tomorrow (boo) so we'll be back in the swing of it all.

Naptime!

WONDERFUL DAY TODAY! Dreading tomorrow.

Today was exactly what I needed. My best friend in the whole wide world came up with her hubby and son and we spent the day together. We all hung out for a while and then we ditched the boys :) We went and got our hair cut and went to WalMart (gag) for a few things. It was exactly what I needed today. I don't see her nearly enough. We've been friends for so long (12 years!) and she's been down this IF road so she gets it. Others try but can't understand the feelings. She does. And she's great. :)

Tomorrow answers the questions. I'm not ready. At all. I'm still living in this world of 'maybes' and I like it. A lot. I'm terrified of seeing another bfn tomorrow and having spent ALL this money (granted it's not like we did an IVF cycle or anything...but still. It's money!) for nothing. I know, it's been a great learning cycle, we know I respond well to the meds, etc. That's great. Still not going to help the pain of the stark white pregnancy test I'm preparing myself to see. I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be a rough day. Real rough. At least I have the happiness of today to help. And my wonderful husband.

Sorry to be such a downer. It's just hard to know what's coming...and not like it.

10DPO Test

And it was a bfn (big fat negative) :( I'm feeling more like AF is on her way, too. I'm so bummed right now.

I know it was early but still...the sore boobs are not as apparent, I'm still bloated and tonight have a KILLER headache. Still fighting waves of nausea, too...these could all be good signs or not. It's a waiting game until Sunday/Monday. I would LOVE to prove everyone that I'm right and we're gonna make this work, but I'm losing some hope.

On a bright note, I should get to see my BFF tomorrow. I can't wait!!

10 dpo tomorrow - TESTING!

As most of you know, I don't test. EVER. I did for a couple of cycles way back in the day, but now I know that good ol' AF (period) is the best, cheapest test available. So I just don't do it.

BUT, now that we've spent the money to do this IUI and such, I am dying to test. Absolutely. I have 4 tests. Dr. Wilshire said not to test until Sunday but I'm going to start tomorrow.

I've been feeling HORRIBLE this week. I had one good day (Tuesday?) that I didn't but ever since, it's not been pleasant. I hope it's a good sign.

So, I'm preparing myself to see a negative tomorrow but won't give up until I see a negative on Sunday. Sunday is the "actual" day.

Here's to waiting...

Paint! Dishwasher! Knobs!

My parents came up this weekend and helped us with the house. Dad and Shane finished the dishwasher installation and put the knobs up in the kitchen. Mom and I worked on priming, then the boys helped. We ended up working much more quickly than expected and got a coat of paint up! We chose the color "Dolphin Fin" from Behr...it's beautiful! Very subtle and light but so nice. I love it!!! Depending on how everything goes, I think Mom and Dad may come back up in a couple of weeks to help us paint our room - going to gold instead of purple. It's not a large space but our furniture is really heavy and has to be dismantled to move it. (I guess it best to way and see if this treatment turns us into expecting or not...)

On another bright note, I'm going to see Alice in Wonderland this afternoon with my oldest nephew, Jason. I'm pumped!

Off now to take a nap. Naps are good!!

Last ultrasound!

I had my last u/s today! This one was to see if my follies had released as they should have...and BOTH did. The nurse was hoping for one so was pleasantly surprised when she discovered that both had ruptured. She also said that I had fluids in every place I should and started me on progesterone supplements. I'll be on these supplements for the next two weeks. I can test on Sunday the 19th and go from there.

The other good part is that everything has gone as planned...and even better than hoped. It's hard not to have too much hope but to have enough that it will work.

I hope the next two weeks fly by.

All done!

Well, the IUI is complete! The news is better than expected!

Shane went at 8 a.m. to leave his sample. Dr. Wilshire was hoping for 3 million post-wash and Shane gave them 4 million! Way to go!!! We did the procedure (OUCH!) and then I had to lay for 15 minutes. Shane went to work and I came home.

I go back tomorrow morning to see if I released my follies as I should have, and then we wait. I'm not to take any pregnancy tests at all...we'll see how that works out. I'm to go back in two weeks, period or not, to see them.

The nurse (Kim) that did the procedure said if this takes (we have faith it will!) that she will take all of the credit! :) I'll give it to her, that's for sure.

Cross your fingers and send up a prayer for us...

Protocol!

We went today for our 3rd u/s and received protocol. Dr. Wilshire said that I've responded well to a low dosage of meds which is great. Both follies have grown well and Shane gets to give me my trigger shot tomorrow night at 10 p.m. He goes in at 8 a.m. on Tuesday to provide a sample, it will get washed and processed and then we go at 1o a.m. for the actual procedure. It's nerve-wracking at this point...I'd rather just have them call and say COME NOW and go do it. I tend to overthink and worry about things given the opportunity. Now we just have to keep our fingers crossed that Shane's sample is the best it's ever been and the stars align. It would be wonderful to get lucky on our first try with this and be blessed.

Today we are going to take advantage of the nice weather today and work on the living room. I can't wait! I hope next weekend is nice, too - my mom and dad are coming up to do some work on the house with us.

Still growin'!

Well, I still can feel the follies growing...that's a good sign!

The shot came today; it's in my fridge right now and I plan to take it to the dr in the morning. I don't know how the IVFers do it; this med storing is stressful!

We are still giving Shane and his boys a pep talk. Just need a good sample for this to work. We are both feeling confident about it. I honestly think this is all we'll need!

Ultrasound #2

Yay!

We had ultrasound (u/s) #2 today! Today's was to check to see how I'd responded to the clomid. The nurse said that they like follicles (aka follies) to be around 20-22mm. I had one on the left side at 15 (with a wannabe one attached - much smaller but still there) and then the right side had one at 14. So, I'm going to keep growing them and get rechecked on Saturday. Follies grow (typically) 1-2mm per day so I should be good by Saturday. I'll get my HCG trigger (to make me release the follies) at the office, probably on Saturday, and do the IUI either Sunday or Monday. Now we are giving Shane's boys a good pep talk every night in order to get the counts up! Dr. Wilshire is asking for 3 million...keep your fingers crossed! My lining looked good, too, at 8.3.

They ordered my HCG shot today...and, of course, insurance doesn't cover it (my insurance, like most, will cover you to get tested for the "infertile" diagnosis...but then doesn't cover any infertility treatments. They are considered "optional" and therefore, not covered. Grrr). The lady said "do you want to be enrolled in the discounted meds program"? Ummm...yeah! All I had to do was give her my email address. :)

On another bright note, Donny and Shannon donated their living room furniture to a worthy cause....Shane and I! We are super excited and can't wait to get it all set up! It's all in the garage right now.

Man, this follie growing is hard work. I'm exhausted tonight!!

Meds are over...now for the side effects!

So I took my last pill on Saturday evening. I hadn't had too many s/e, but now they're coming like wildfire. Nothing unbearable but an annoyance nonetheless. Among them are: fatigue but insomnia (along with strange dreams), no real hot flashes but warmer than normal, crankiness out the wahzoo...but, as long as we get our dream (a healthy baby) we're okay with it. Shane has been great and wonderful and understanding. I LOVE YOU!

I'm excited about our ultrasound on Wednesday morning to see how I've responded to the meds. My two biggest concerns are me overreacting to the meds and not having a usable sample from Shane. I think there is a greater likelihood of me overreacting that Shane not giving the sample...so I'll be anxious to see! I've had quite a few twinges on both sides so I'm hopeful that I have many good follies to choose from for Dr. Wilshire.

On a bright note, our new dishwasher and dryer should be here tomorrow! I can't wait. Our old dryer gave out last week so it will be AWESOME to get our new stuff. We were thankful for the opportunity to get our new stuff to replace the things that are going out. The dishwasher will be great - we've done fine without it (Shane is a great dishes-doer!) but will be nice to have an actual dishwasher again. The dryer will be great, too. It's amazing that we've gotten another 4 years out of the one we have, given the amount of damage done to it by the apartment complex.