The post I've been wanting to make!

Isn't that the most beautiful sight you've ever seen? I think so!

DH and I finally got our elusive BFP this week. I took the test so I could quit taking the progesterone supplements (those things are GROSS if you've ever had to take them) and get my AF to start. I had it all planned out - I'd take the test, then call the doctor's office and see if they'd get pre-authorization on the lap for January.

So I took the test, set it aside and checked in about a minute. Totally expected to see one line. And what did I see? THAT beautiful second line. :) In less than the 2 minute window.

So Monday was my first beta - it measures the HCG in my blood. The nurse said she wanted to see a number higher than 50. She called a little later in the day with my result: 353!!!

Today was my second beta. Betas should double every 48-72 hours. The nurse said she was hoping to see a 60% increase in my number - so something in the 600s. My number? 747!!! It doubled in less than 48 hours :)

I think these numbers are high so we may have more than one in there. We find out on Tuesday - our first ultrasound! I'll be a little over 4 and a half weeks. Too soon for a heartbeat but we can count babies. Then we'll have another ultrasound in about 3 weeks to find the heartbeat(s).

I can hardly believe it's finally happened. DH and I are just hopeful that my pregnancy continues without many hiccups or problems.

It is what it is

I've decided that it is what it is. I can't change the hand that IF has dealt DH and I. I can't change the fact that my heart has hardened just a little after 4 years of trying. What can I do? Accept it and move on.

I don't know that this cycle didn't work. I won't know either way until Monday. It seems like our odds are low...but it is what it is. This time of year is hard - how fun would it be to see Christmas through the eyes of my own child? But, if this doesn't work, I just know that there are bigger plans for DH and I. It seems like in my family, we can beat our heads against a brick wall for YEARS and then when the time is right, everything falls into place. We can't change the plans that have been made for us.

DH and I are blessed with the life we have. Looking around, there are people who would give ANYTHING to be where we are - a safe home, new cars, each other, food on the table and in our pantry, and being completely surrounded by the love of our families. This time of year, it is easy to get overwhelmed with everything going on - parties, gifts, functions - but it most important to be thankful for everything we have.

I've come to the realization that everyone always wants something they don't have. In our case, we want a baby. Others may want a shiny new car, that brand new house or the perfect mate. It is what it is.

IUI #5

Well, we had IUI #5 done today at 7:15 a.m. Our nice nurse wasn't working today but at least the mean one was better than normal. I've had a little spotting this evening but no cramping or anything.

I'm, of course, hopeful that it works but not holding my breath. I think I'm a bit too cynical! I do think the timing was perfect as far as my O - I had a lot of pain in my right side today and felt a pop about 20 minutes after my IUI and haven't had pain since. Here's to hoping my old cynical body can get this thing figured out!!

Test day will be the 27th of December. Here's to the next TWW!

CD3 ultrasound

Well, here we go again!

I had my CD3 u/s on Friday. I have a "flat" cyst on my right side but the RE was willing to give it another go, saying that wouldn't interfere with anything. He's happy about the way I respond to the clomid, but is not happy that we haven't had a bfp yet!

His plan, if this cycle doesn't work, is to do a laproscopic "look-see" of my belly. He thinks that there is a chance I might have some underlying issues from my spleen injury when I was 4; he said there could be a bit of scar tissue or something not quite right that is causing things to not work. He said that if there is scar tissue at the end of my tube, I might as well be sending my pretty follies to Mars! :)

So, we're hopeful that this cycle will work...I don't want to think about surgery. Even "minor" surgery...but still involves knocking me out and having incisions. Crossing fingers it works out!!

Next scan is Friday, December 10. Was supposed to be the 11th but that's Shane's graduation; we'll have a houseful of people and lots to do. :)

Well, I have the answer...

And it's another dreaded BFN. SIGH.

That being said, we've decided that we are done when our straws are out. So, by the end of January we'll either be knocked up or finished TTC for a long time. The stress is too much and we're losing faith we are meant to be parents in this fashion. Four years is a LONG time. :) The weird thing? I feel a sense of peace with it.

That's not to say that we don't want to be parents. We would love to have a baby. But, we are okay with it if it doesn't work. There are always plans larger than we can see; it will be interesting to see what life throws at us.

AF should be here in the next couple of days. We'll do another round of clomid and u/s. Here goes nothing!

Don't know what to think...

Well, we're nearing on two weeks since the IUI...test day is Sunday...and I don't have any idea what to think. I'm trying my hardest to prepare myself for a bfn on Sunday. I have ZERO symptoms. No sore bbs, no nausea, no nothing. Just the dogs being extra protective, and crying at the drop of a hat. I'm not even as tired as I normally am in the TWW. No AF signs could be a good thing, or it could just be an "off" cycle and we will see that striking bfn on Sunday morning. I'm hoping for a bfp but not sold on the idea.

Thanksgiving was yesterday. I have so many reasons to be thankful. Like my family. And my home, job, car and dogs. But most of all? My husband. I couldn't ask for a better man to be by my side for the rest of my life. He works hard and does everything he can to make me happy. I can't wait for the day I can share that love with other, smaller people in our lives.

I'm off for the day and a have a list as long as my arm to get done. And hopefully, my husband (the one I mentioned up there??) will be off early and we can spend some time together.

Until later...

PUPO!

IUI is all finished!! We were done by 7:45 a.m.; it went well - a little more painful than last time but that's okay. Kim didn't do the procedure (darn, darn, darn!) but we did get hugs from her on our way out. :) I start my progesterone on Wednesday morning...and test on the 29th (if not before).

Now we're PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). It's going to be a long two weeks!!!

Getting nervous!

I'm feeling very nervous tonight. Not for the actual procedure - those aren't bad. Moreso that this is the next step in our TTC journey. I feel like if this doesn't work, we're looking at adoption. Not to say that there's ANYTHING wrong with adoption; I just want to experience the joys of being pregnant: showers, kicks, appointments, excitement.

Another part of me is scared that it will work but it won't be sticky. I think that would be one of the hardest things - to finally get the elusive bfp and then have it taken away. I know that millions of pregnancies have come and gone with no issues...but I think I'll be on the edge of my seat the entire time. Heck, I am already!

I think tonight's going to be a long night. The nice thing is that I don't have to work tomorrow so I can relax and just putter. How wonderful!!!

Protocol!

We had another scan today. The right follie had grown into an oblong mutant and the left side is growing nicely. Tonight, around 7:30 p.m., Shane gets to stab me in the booty with my trigger shot. IUI is Monday at 7:30 a.m. Crossing fingers that we get beginners luck this cycle!!!

CD 11 scan

Well, we had a great scan today. Kim (the nice nurse) did it. She found one good size follie on both sides, and some other, smaller follies on the left as well. So, my normally very lazy and non-producing left side is a shining star this cycle!!! Maybe that's all we need :)

I go back on Saturday morning for another scan. Kim wants to be sure that we are timing everything as perfectly as possible since we are using donor sperm and have more money tied up in it. And that is precisely why I like Kim!!

I did get a letter today to try to charge the costs of the donor sperm out to my flex spending account. Crossing fingers it works...

Wowzers!

I'm so excited right now I can hardly stand to be around myself! I ordered our 3 straws of baby batter today (aka three specimens, if you want to get technical) and they should be here on Thursday! We'd thought we'd chosen one donor...B943...he was a great match, worked as a pizza delivery driver and had a degree in accounting. Medical history was decent. The nurse suggested we have 2-3 donors in mind when we called to order, so I ordered a couple more profiles.

One of them was a real, um, well, let's leave it as not a good match. Then, we saw B855. He has a much better medical history, is a bit taller and has kids of his own, as well as documented pregnancies. 943 is a "newbie" - he's only available starting this month. We thought we'd up our chances with someone that is known to "work" if you will.

The profiles we get are 20 pages long - I know more about the donor than I know about myself, I'm fairly certain. That being said, it's awesome to have that much knowledge. I know that we made the right choice.

Thursday is my next appointment (at 6:30 a.m., no less!). We'll get to see how my follies are doing (I'm feeling twinges on both sides!) and get protocol for the rest of the cycle. The trigger shot is ordered and should be waiting on us at the doctor, the baby batter will be waiting. EEEK! SO close now.

CD3 scan

I had my CD3 scan today, and received the results from my blood work. I did test positive for the CMV IgG which means we do need to find a negative donor. No biggie.

I'm on 100 mg of clomid for the next 5 days. I go back at 6:30 a.m. next Thursday for my next scan (egads, that's early!) and then we'll decide when trigger happens. Shane and I also need to choose candidates #2 and #3. We have to do the ordering ourselves for our "baby batter".

We are VERY excited!!!

HOORAY!

Very seldom do us IF'ers celebrate when the ol' AF shows. But, when you're waiting to start a cycle, it's VERY exciting. So, even though the old hag woke me up this morning, I am so excited!

Wednesday is our CD3 scan and we get the script to start Clomid. I am so hopeful this cycle will work. I can't wait!!!

Still waiting on the bloodwork to come back but it should be back by Wednesday when I go in. I'm not worried about it...just need another step done. The bright note is we are fairly decided on our donor. YAY!

Oh, the agony of WAITING. I wish we could just skip to the IUI now and not have the wait.

Blood test!

I had my blood drawn for the two required tests to move forward with our cycle. They require an infectious disease (hepatitis, HIV, etc.) and another one to test for antibodies. They test me for an immunity to it and the donor for whether they have it or not; if I'm immune then I can choose any donor. If not, I'm limited to only those donors without the antibody. The good news? Our first choice is negative, so it really doesn't matter! :) And I'm not worried at all about the other one. This, in my opinion, is a formality.

Now, to wait for the witch to show...and we can move forward. EEK!

RESOLVE

One of my friends, Mandy, who runs the blog The Lucky 7, was contacted recently by the RESOLVE network to have her followers ask questions about embryo donation. I responded with about 5 (I have LOTS of questions about it!) and one of mine was chosen to be answered via video! How exciting!

Here's a little more information about the program and a link to the video!
Because embryo donation can be a challenge for some to understand, RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association launched a first-of-its-kind video series, in which RESOLVE’s executive director Barbara Collura answers people’s questions about embryo donation, an emerging family building option. The “So what exactly is embryo donation?” video series includes 11 short, one- to two-minute videos answering questions submitted by MyDestinationFamily.org visitors. Check out Barbara’s personal response to my question below and visit MyDestinationFamily.org to view other videos and test your knowledge about embryo donation.

The video

Moving forward!

HOORAY for good days!!

We have made the decision to start IUI with donor sperm with our next cycle. I'm so psyched. I'm thinking in about 4 weeks (CD10ish today) we'll be doing the procedure.

We ordered a long profile today on one donor. Looks to be a good fit - the guy is majoring in finance and currently works as a pizza delivery driver. How much closer to Shane could we get?? :)

We have one other one we want to order. For whatever reason, the website wouldn't let me order. I'll try again tomorrow!

Here's to progress. WOOT WOOT!

Wow...it's been a while!

I'm sure you've all figured out by now that the last cycle resulted in a BFN. No big surprise there. We're taking the summer to relax and reconnect and start back up in the fall.

Sigh

I'm fairly sure AF is on her way. It's 11dpo and I'm crampy. Part of it could be due to the fact I've had about 10 hours of sleep over the past 3 days...part of it could be stress. I don't know.

Monday is our anniversary. It's also test day. I want to have good news but preparing myself for bad news.

I'll keep you posted. Crossing fingers for a bfp!!

Halfway there!

We'll know in another week if #3 is our lucky number. I have everything crossed that it is!


I don't know what it is but I've been incredibly hungry and have had heartburn since yesterday. I will hope that it is a good sign...even though it's WAY too early to have "signs" yet.

On the home front, my SIL (sister-in-law) has recovered nicely from her second round of surgery and is home. She hopes to go for a walk today with her new puppy, Toto.

I hope this cycle works with everything I have. I feel like it's MY turn. OUR turn.

Lucky #3? I hope so!

IUI#3 was today. We have everything crossed we can that it works. The counts were where Dr. Wilshire wanted (3million post wash) but I don't know the motility. He didn't mention it so it must have been okay.

I know I had one huge follie on the right but I've had twinges all afternoon on that side. Not really twinges but more like WHAM! feelings. I am hopeful that I had more hanging out behind the monstrosity and several released today.

The next couple of weeks will be long but hopefully productive. Come on BFP!

IUI#3 tomorrow!

We had our u/s yesterday. One HUGEMONGOUS follie on the right (left side is broked, I think!) so I triggered last night (thanks, Lani!) and will do IUI#3 tomorrow. I'm crossing everything I can that we get lucky this cycle.

Another update tomorrow!

YAY! Twinges!!

I am feeling the effects of Clomid. I can say that I'm lucky in that I've not had the hot flashes, crabbiness or otherwise crankiness that many ladies get. **knocks wood** BUT last night and tonight I've been feeling LOTS of twinges on both sides. I have all of my fingers and toes crossed that this is a good sign and I'll have beautiful follies on Saturday!

And on Saturday I'm going to see my BFF Lani and we're going to have a GREAT day! Getting our hairs did and having some good, quality time together. Life will be great! I can't wait to get this mop of hair cut off my head...I'm going super short and spiky which will be fun. I "cleared" it with my boss today and we're good to go. There's a fine line, at least in my opinion, between punky and appropriate for an office setting.

I really hope this cycle works. I am ready for it to be "my turn" and be able to join the leagues of preggos in the world. That being said, if it doesn't, we are taking the summer off. We'll start back up in the fall.

<3 to all!

Day full of doubt!

I have these every once in a while. I've been so busy I haven't had time for doubts but I've been taking it easy today.

I don't know that these IUIs will work. I know I have to have faith or they won't. There's three of us girls from high school that are all trying to get pg again...two of us with IF issues, one without. I'm so afraid that they will get pg before me. I would be ecstatic for them to get their wish...but I want mine. I really want this more than anything. In fact, DH just turned down a job in order to stay closer to our families. I hope it was the right thing to do.

I just don't want this money to be without a positive outcome. IF is so hard...most times I'm okay but there are days, like today, that it hits me.

New protocol!

Well, we had another CD3 u/s today. I have a small cyst on my left side (nothing major). I'm up to 100mg of Clomid, CD3-7 and then I go back next Saturday for my next u/s. I'm HOPEFUL that #3 is our lucky number. We're going to erase all the bad news from last cycle and start fresh this time. We'll have high counts - both in follies and in spermies. I just know it!!!!!

I'll take any extra thoughts and prayers anyone has floating around. Can't have too many!! <3

Another bfn :(

Just as I suspected...another BFN. Nothing new.

We'll see what next cycle brings!

Drat! IUI#2

Well, we did IUI#2 yesterday. I'm holding out very little hope for this cycle. I think my body disregarded the clomid and trigger so I believe I O'd early (I have ZERO proof of that except that I've been doing this since 10/06 so I know my body's signs!); I had TONS of pain on Monday afternoon and evening and the old ovaries have been quiet since.

Shane's count was LOW (2million) with LOW motility (21%). Dr. Wilshire came in and said it wasn't impossible to work this time...but I know that this cycle is a bust. Part of me wants to skip the progesterone supplements this time but I won't. I hate those things!!

We'll see what happens on the 19th of April but don't be surprised to see a bfn. That's what I'm waiting for!!

Tuesday!

Well, we had our u/s this morning. We have one good looking follie (drat...I was hoping for 3!!). We trigger tonight and have our IUI on Tuesday morning at 10 a.m. Crossing my fingers this works!!!!

Next appointment is Saturday!

Well, I'm anxiously awaiting 9 a.m. on Saturday. We have an u/s scheduled to see if/how well I've responded to the meds and get the protocol. I would assume I'll trigger Monday or Tuesday which would put the IUI on Wednesday or Thursday. I just want this one to work.

I haven't discussed it with Shane but I feel like we shouldn't do more than 3 IUIs. From what research I've done it appears that most people don't get PG from #4 or 5...so I'm not sure it's worth the $$ to do more. I am fearful that it won't work and we'll be stuck. Well, not "stuck" but not where we want to be...which is knocked up. I'm going to try to NOT worry about it and see where this path leads us.

New cycle!

Today was our CD3 u/s to make sure we were back to baseline. Nurse Kim (my fav!) said everything looked fantastic! Dr. Wilshire said that he was excited about how great things had gone for us last cycle and felt like we should try IUIs 4-5 times before moving on. I started my Clomid again today...through CD8. We got for another u/s a week from Saturday (April 3) to make sure I'm responding as I should. We are so hopeful that this is it!

Looks like costs for meds are about $120 per shot; this includes the Clomid ($9...thanks WalMart!), $50 for the trigger shot and about $60 for the progesterone. I sure do wish that insurance would cover it...but, alas, it's worth it in the end if we get the elusive BFP and ultimate baby. We haven't seen any bills rolling in from Dr. Wilshire's office; we know the insurance more than likely won't cover them but it's worth a shot. Maybe, if the u/s are coded in a certain way, they will.

I'm starting to freak a little about $$. I do this. It's just part of who I am. I like to have a nest egg and it seems like we can't get that far ahead. This house has drained us; we were doing great and then started doing some decorating and it's killing us again. We'll have a loan paid off this summer which will free up quite a bit of money...then we can get the rest paid off (hopefully) and move on. I would LOVE to get to the point we have no debt outside of house and maybe cars.

Here's to hoping that #2 is our lucky number!

Just as I suspected

The test was a blaringly white bfn :( So, now I'm waiting to call the dr on Monday. Shane and I are prepared to do another round of medicated IUI...but we'll see if he's game for that. I know Dr. Wilshire thinks that IVF is a better fit for us, but we aren't there yet. Mentally NOR financially.

So, we are taking it easy today. Shane's still recovering from his cold and I am enjoying a day off. School starts again tomorrow (boo) so we'll be back in the swing of it all.

Naptime!

WONDERFUL DAY TODAY! Dreading tomorrow.

Today was exactly what I needed. My best friend in the whole wide world came up with her hubby and son and we spent the day together. We all hung out for a while and then we ditched the boys :) We went and got our hair cut and went to WalMart (gag) for a few things. It was exactly what I needed today. I don't see her nearly enough. We've been friends for so long (12 years!) and she's been down this IF road so she gets it. Others try but can't understand the feelings. She does. And she's great. :)

Tomorrow answers the questions. I'm not ready. At all. I'm still living in this world of 'maybes' and I like it. A lot. I'm terrified of seeing another bfn tomorrow and having spent ALL this money (granted it's not like we did an IVF cycle or anything...but still. It's money!) for nothing. I know, it's been a great learning cycle, we know I respond well to the meds, etc. That's great. Still not going to help the pain of the stark white pregnancy test I'm preparing myself to see. I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be a rough day. Real rough. At least I have the happiness of today to help. And my wonderful husband.

Sorry to be such a downer. It's just hard to know what's coming...and not like it.

10DPO Test

And it was a bfn (big fat negative) :( I'm feeling more like AF is on her way, too. I'm so bummed right now.

I know it was early but still...the sore boobs are not as apparent, I'm still bloated and tonight have a KILLER headache. Still fighting waves of nausea, too...these could all be good signs or not. It's a waiting game until Sunday/Monday. I would LOVE to prove everyone that I'm right and we're gonna make this work, but I'm losing some hope.

On a bright note, I should get to see my BFF tomorrow. I can't wait!!

10 dpo tomorrow - TESTING!

As most of you know, I don't test. EVER. I did for a couple of cycles way back in the day, but now I know that good ol' AF (period) is the best, cheapest test available. So I just don't do it.

BUT, now that we've spent the money to do this IUI and such, I am dying to test. Absolutely. I have 4 tests. Dr. Wilshire said not to test until Sunday but I'm going to start tomorrow.

I've been feeling HORRIBLE this week. I had one good day (Tuesday?) that I didn't but ever since, it's not been pleasant. I hope it's a good sign.

So, I'm preparing myself to see a negative tomorrow but won't give up until I see a negative on Sunday. Sunday is the "actual" day.

Here's to waiting...

Paint! Dishwasher! Knobs!

My parents came up this weekend and helped us with the house. Dad and Shane finished the dishwasher installation and put the knobs up in the kitchen. Mom and I worked on priming, then the boys helped. We ended up working much more quickly than expected and got a coat of paint up! We chose the color "Dolphin Fin" from Behr...it's beautiful! Very subtle and light but so nice. I love it!!! Depending on how everything goes, I think Mom and Dad may come back up in a couple of weeks to help us paint our room - going to gold instead of purple. It's not a large space but our furniture is really heavy and has to be dismantled to move it. (I guess it best to way and see if this treatment turns us into expecting or not...)

On another bright note, I'm going to see Alice in Wonderland this afternoon with my oldest nephew, Jason. I'm pumped!

Off now to take a nap. Naps are good!!

Last ultrasound!

I had my last u/s today! This one was to see if my follies had released as they should have...and BOTH did. The nurse was hoping for one so was pleasantly surprised when she discovered that both had ruptured. She also said that I had fluids in every place I should and started me on progesterone supplements. I'll be on these supplements for the next two weeks. I can test on Sunday the 19th and go from there.

The other good part is that everything has gone as planned...and even better than hoped. It's hard not to have too much hope but to have enough that it will work.

I hope the next two weeks fly by.

All done!

Well, the IUI is complete! The news is better than expected!

Shane went at 8 a.m. to leave his sample. Dr. Wilshire was hoping for 3 million post-wash and Shane gave them 4 million! Way to go!!! We did the procedure (OUCH!) and then I had to lay for 15 minutes. Shane went to work and I came home.

I go back tomorrow morning to see if I released my follies as I should have, and then we wait. I'm not to take any pregnancy tests at all...we'll see how that works out. I'm to go back in two weeks, period or not, to see them.

The nurse (Kim) that did the procedure said if this takes (we have faith it will!) that she will take all of the credit! :) I'll give it to her, that's for sure.

Cross your fingers and send up a prayer for us...

Protocol!

We went today for our 3rd u/s and received protocol. Dr. Wilshire said that I've responded well to a low dosage of meds which is great. Both follies have grown well and Shane gets to give me my trigger shot tomorrow night at 10 p.m. He goes in at 8 a.m. on Tuesday to provide a sample, it will get washed and processed and then we go at 1o a.m. for the actual procedure. It's nerve-wracking at this point...I'd rather just have them call and say COME NOW and go do it. I tend to overthink and worry about things given the opportunity. Now we just have to keep our fingers crossed that Shane's sample is the best it's ever been and the stars align. It would be wonderful to get lucky on our first try with this and be blessed.

Today we are going to take advantage of the nice weather today and work on the living room. I can't wait! I hope next weekend is nice, too - my mom and dad are coming up to do some work on the house with us.

Still growin'!

Well, I still can feel the follies growing...that's a good sign!

The shot came today; it's in my fridge right now and I plan to take it to the dr in the morning. I don't know how the IVFers do it; this med storing is stressful!

We are still giving Shane and his boys a pep talk. Just need a good sample for this to work. We are both feeling confident about it. I honestly think this is all we'll need!

Ultrasound #2

Yay!

We had ultrasound (u/s) #2 today! Today's was to check to see how I'd responded to the clomid. The nurse said that they like follicles (aka follies) to be around 20-22mm. I had one on the left side at 15 (with a wannabe one attached - much smaller but still there) and then the right side had one at 14. So, I'm going to keep growing them and get rechecked on Saturday. Follies grow (typically) 1-2mm per day so I should be good by Saturday. I'll get my HCG trigger (to make me release the follies) at the office, probably on Saturday, and do the IUI either Sunday or Monday. Now we are giving Shane's boys a good pep talk every night in order to get the counts up! Dr. Wilshire is asking for 3 million...keep your fingers crossed! My lining looked good, too, at 8.3.

They ordered my HCG shot today...and, of course, insurance doesn't cover it (my insurance, like most, will cover you to get tested for the "infertile" diagnosis...but then doesn't cover any infertility treatments. They are considered "optional" and therefore, not covered. Grrr). The lady said "do you want to be enrolled in the discounted meds program"? Ummm...yeah! All I had to do was give her my email address. :)

On another bright note, Donny and Shannon donated their living room furniture to a worthy cause....Shane and I! We are super excited and can't wait to get it all set up! It's all in the garage right now.

Man, this follie growing is hard work. I'm exhausted tonight!!

Meds are over...now for the side effects!

So I took my last pill on Saturday evening. I hadn't had too many s/e, but now they're coming like wildfire. Nothing unbearable but an annoyance nonetheless. Among them are: fatigue but insomnia (along with strange dreams), no real hot flashes but warmer than normal, crankiness out the wahzoo...but, as long as we get our dream (a healthy baby) we're okay with it. Shane has been great and wonderful and understanding. I LOVE YOU!

I'm excited about our ultrasound on Wednesday morning to see how I've responded to the meds. My two biggest concerns are me overreacting to the meds and not having a usable sample from Shane. I think there is a greater likelihood of me overreacting that Shane not giving the sample...so I'll be anxious to see! I've had quite a few twinges on both sides so I'm hopeful that I have many good follies to choose from for Dr. Wilshire.

On a bright note, our new dishwasher and dryer should be here tomorrow! I can't wait. Our old dryer gave out last week so it will be AWESOME to get our new stuff. We were thankful for the opportunity to get our new stuff to replace the things that are going out. The dishwasher will be great - we've done fine without it (Shane is a great dishes-doer!) but will be nice to have an actual dishwasher again. The dryer will be great, too. It's amazing that we've gotten another 4 years out of the one we have, given the amount of damage done to it by the apartment complex.

One more day!

I took pill #4 tonight. I've had more headaches - nothing PAINFUL but annoying. I'm all for it if we get our BFP (big fat positive) test in a couple of weeks! I'm still tired tonight but not as cranky - even though the day at work was INSANE!

We took Dr. Wilshire's advice and went to Jina Yoo's Asian Bistro tonight. It was soooo good! We brought home some dessert and plan to watch movies tonight. This is our weekend to be "romantic" and then we have to get serious about Shane saving up. The ultrasound on Wednesday should give us a good idea of when we'll do the IUI.

This weekend we have to prepare for our new dishwasher and clothes dryer delivery. I hope to get the laundry area cleaned and painted while we have the washer and dryer out...what better time?! Plus, if I am lucky enough to get BFP I won't be able to do as much of that type of work in the upcoming months.

Day 3

Side effects? Not much. Another headache tonight...no hot flashes yet. Also felt some twinges today in my sides...hopefully (as my RE so eloquently put it) my acorns are growing into oak trees! Dr. Wilshire asked for two good eggs so we've been giving them peptalks every night when I take my meds.

I'm super tired tonight - had a LONG day (4 hour meeting this morning!) so I'm hopeful to sleep early tonight. I've been sleeping well so that's not the problem...I'm ready for SPRING!

Tomorrow night, Shane and I are going out to dinner. He had strict instructions to "romance" me this weekend and then start "saving". We'll probably have a pretty low-key weekend, too.

Day 2 of Clomid

So today was relatively uneventful with side effects. I was a little more cranky this morning (but that could have been the weather...another day of COLD temps, but at least the sun was out) but didn't notice anything else.

I'm kind of head-achy tonight and tired. Again, the tiredness is typical for me this time of year. I'll probably take some Tylenol before bed. I'm okay with any s/e as long as I have a beautiful outcome!

We have another ultrasound on 3/3 and then will get the date for our IUI. If it's anything like my natural cycles, I'll O (ovulate) around CD14 or so - so another 10 days. That'd make the IUI next Friday or Saturday. Crossing fingers!

CD3

You will be more enlightened about TTC (trying to conceive) than you will ever want to be! It's a whole 'nother world...and there are so many people that are battling IF (infertility) it's unbelievable.

So, today Shane and I went to the doctor for our CD3 (cycle day 3) ultrasound. This provides the basework for the rest of the cycle. Everything looked good and the nurse said that we have a good start. I was given my prescription for 50 mg of clomid (I don't appear to have any problems, but using this small dose helps give more control in the cycle, as well as a better quality of egg...and more!) and will take that, starting tonight, for 5 days. We go back on the 3rd of March for another US and then go from there.

I'm cautiously optimistic that we will be successful with this cycle. I know the chance of multiples is greatly increased using fertility drugs, but I don't care. I have always said that having twins would be fun - and in this case, cost effective AND efficient!

New direction for the blog!

So Shane and I have been battling infertility for the last three and a half years. We've been actively trying (did the whole charting, temping, etc) and fell into the not-not category (not "trying", not preventing) for the past while.

Anytime a couple has been trying over 6 months, seeing a doc is not out of the question. We've been to an OB/GYN and an RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist). The OB said that Shane's swimmers aren't active and well-formed enough and that's the main issue and sent us to the RE for "treatments". He also went to the urologist for a diagnosis of the reason why: it appears he has a slight varicocele. The urologist said that he could do surgery but there is no proof that it would do any good. He said that since Shane's counts are good, we are good candidates for an IUI (intrauterine insemination).

We've been thinking about it for a while (the procedure isn't cheap but it's cheaper than IVF!) and finally found that my flex spending will cover the procedure. SO, we are starting this cycle!

Here's to hoping that this works!

I love my husband!

No really, I know it's said a lot but I truly do have the best husband in the world. So I've had one of the crappiest weeks of my life this week...too much work stres...and decided to go to the gym with a friend tonight. We were going to do Zumba (so fun!) but it was cancelled so we spent an hour walking the track. Not the best exercise but at least we did SOMETHING.

So, back to why my husband is so great. He's so great because I got home and he'd been to the store, shoveled the drive, fed the dogs, put away dishes and got me some adult beverages. Not only that, he greeted me with a huge hug and had dinner in the oven. I truly love him. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me (outside of being born, of course) and I thank God for him everyday. Not to mention he's so patient when I have moody spells and nervous breakdowns.

I love you, Shane!

So this cold thing

Is crazy. I hate the cold, the snow, the darkness, the crazy dogs and drivers. Can it be summer yet?

My surprise!

I went to see my sister yesterday and my dear husband purchased a new comforter and sheet set for our bedroom! It's beautiful...I absolutely love it! It's reds, golds, and browns. He said that I did such a great job on the bathrooom he felt that our bedroom should be a better partner for it. Now I'm ready to paint our room....just need some muscles to move our furniture! Thanks, honey!

My top ten list

Here are the top ten things I've learned thus far into my project:



10. It's a lot of fun to update a space that desperately needs it

9. I loved doing it by myself - and I am more likely to finish the project

8. Ask for input only if you truly want an opinion. Otherwise, don't ask

7. Muted colors are my new fav. It's so calming to walk into the space

6. Behr New Drywall Sealer is a godsend

5. Lock the door if you want to do a big reveal

4. Good materials are important...roller fuzz is a bummer!

3. Soft Scrub will get paint off of showers, countertops and windowsills

2. ANYTHING is better than dirty contractor grey - even sealer

1. Start with something you love...then work out